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To My Son the Compassionate
A letter to my nine-year-old as he returns to school and faces life again
Dear Matthew,
You were the child I was so determined to have that at forty I became a single mother by choice. For the past nine years, you have shown me every day how smart that decision was. You’ve gone from having me all to yourself to being a wonderful son to your new father, and an incredible brother to your little sister. You’ve absorbed the traits and talents you got from me and made them better, and you’ve found new ones I’ll never have.
You’ve heard me tell you I love you. You’ve heard me say I am proud of you. But you’ve never heard me say I envy you. And I do.
I envy your resilience and your grace.
Your whole life has changed — the shutdown, the masks, the Zoom classes, the new school with the smaller class sizes but none of your friends. Yet every day, your jokes and goofy tricks help us so much. You are so great about eating healthy food and doing laundry; you clean your room, the bathrooms, and the hamster cage every week. Yesterday you cooked your own eggs for breakfast and asked me if I needed anything.
You’ll tell me this is so you don’t lose your skate park privileges, but being thoughtful is second nature to you. Somehow, through…
